why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
