how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
