I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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