'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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