I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
