You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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