I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
