I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
