Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
