there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
