Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
