I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
