I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize