So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
