We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think my fart just growled at me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
