You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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