Me. At least after what I've been through.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
They have beer where we have blood.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
