we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
