Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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