god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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