Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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