Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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