How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
