I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
