Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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