I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
