We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
