I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
