It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
