Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
