So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
