He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
