I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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