Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
