Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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