Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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