The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I can't turn off my feet"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
