Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
