Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
