I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
