Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
