It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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