The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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