this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
