Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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