Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
