Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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