if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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