WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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