I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
