Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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