I wanna passion pit in your ass
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
