i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
