i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
